Occupational Hazards

An uncomfortable silence settles around the dinner table until somebody casually enquires as to what the guests do for a living. A neutral, safe question until the gynaechologist reveals his medical speciality. Women blush, children look confused and some idiot makes an ill-timed joke about female anatomy that kills the conversation and leaves everybody staring at their plates.
I also work with human anatomy (muscles instead of wombs), but the public response to my trade as a personal trainer is similar. People either glare at me, trying to see the muscles bulging through the clothes or they confess about the last time they went to gym. Exercise history becomes a confession of guilt about a sedentary lifestyle, lack of motivation and stress. High school sporting achievements are recounted and prepartum weight is a proud memory when they compare their activity to the present, often with visual aids. People show me a beer boep or stretch marks during this unauthorised confession. I can identify with psychologists who must get an earful everytime they tell strangers their occupation. I’m always too nervous to speak to psychologists in fear of being analysed, classified or certified as crazy or unstable. Yet, my profession seems to encourage confession! If only I could prescribe Prozac, but endorphins and other happy hormones are more effective in my field.
I get dirty looks in bars when I drink cider and people assume that I’m an alcoholic. Snide comments are passed when I go grocery shopping and observers notice chocolate in the trolley. I actually want to cover my groceries and put a “do not disturb” sign on my food. I prescribe exercise but am expected to have a flawless eating plan and lead a dull life. The pressure to look perfect and the cliched questions has led me to sometimes tell people that I am a PA and not a PT. Personal assistants look after clients, listen attentively and do administration that is part of my job description. I write programes, poll clients and attend to their training needs. I listen to complaints, issue invoices and calculate payments that clients may not track accurately. Nobody asks a PA personal questions unrealted to their job or bombards them with a quick fix for years of self abuse.

I wish that people would ask intelligent questions instead of pulling and wobbling the fat under their arm. Waving flabby limbs do not equate to asking for advice to tighten triceps. We ask acquaintances in property about the value of our estate and the plumber friend about a blocked drain, so why not ask me how to structure a balanced exercise programme. Instead, people try to stare through my clothes and assess my physique instead of making polite conversation.

The assumption that people with physical jobs are stupid is also made by strangers. People start talking slower on hearing my occupation. It’s as pointless as talking louder to a blind person. People are surpirsed to hear that I have a degree in exercise science and other qualifications that were not achieved solely by sweating. Being well qualified and experienced in running my own business has led to many networking opportunities that would not be possible in a normal workplace.

The real occupational hazards exist in the office where stress levels are high and mindsets are determined by the boss with no room for creativity or lateral thinking.