Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Fashion faux pas

Victims of fashion are those shop assistants that give me dirty looks when I enter their “exclusive” boutiques wearing jeans, t-shirt and takkies. I am wearing no jewellery or make up, but I have remembered my credit card that I may swipe if I find the right clothes to wear. I obviously need smart clothes if I am not wearing the correct name brands. I’m a Nike or Adidas girl and have only been introduced to Chanel, Dior and Louis Vitton. The irony about the people who wear these brands is that they probably get themselves into debt to purchase these labels as they are the consumers who can least afford the Levis. The shop assistants who judge the appearance of potential customers are the real victims who cannot earn more the 6k per month, which does not even cover the accessories bill.

I’m a practical person who has never been fashion conscious and I tend to dress more sporty than trendy. I do not see the point of styling my hair when it lasts for a few hours before I have to shower after exercising. Make up never stays on my eyes and always smudges. I have been scared by people when I see them in the morning with their natural look when I have only seen them with a layer of paint on their face. I cannot understand the point of curling lashes, straightening hair and waxing the rest.

I bought myself a pair of Chanel fake sunglasses and they are my camoflage. Hiding half my face comes in useful when I want to stare at people or save money on sunblock by only applying it the lower half of my face. These manufactures unwittingly support skin cancer prevention.
I can’t walk in heels without people asking why I am limping. High shoes are great in winter when my pants do not get sodden from being dragged on the wet ground. The soles will take years of walking to wear down as they are so thick, so investing in these shoes could be value for money, unless fashion dates. I recently purchased a pair of pointy boots and although they make my feet look three sizes bigger, they are useful defence weapons if I am attacked. No thief would stand after being stabbed and kicked simultaneously in the shins.
Pashmina was a new word to add to my journalistic vocabulary. But now that is almost already “last season” and ….
The real fashion faux pas is not wearing red and pink together, but the mistakes that the clothing industry should have noticed by now:
• Jeans – nobody has an attractive crack and bending down is difficult enough without the exposure it creates.
• Why must the smallest piece of lingerie have a label? The label is often bigger than the g-string and ALWAYS sticks out for the world to see that I wear Medium panties.
• The stickers mark the clothes. Tearing off the adhesive leaves sticky residue that often leaves stains in the fabric.
• Shoe sizes are on the outside of shoes – this type of information should be private.
• Hand washing is inconvenient. If the modern person has time to do hand washing and leave it to dry in winter, we would have time to make our own clothes.
• Most people do not want to expose their stomachs and muffins. Especially in winter.


The fashion industry has fans and slaves all over the world, from sales assistants in boutiques to sewers in sweat shops. Even the rebels are slaves to fashion because the alternative clothing stores are seldom cheap unless they are second hand charity shops. In my opinion the real fashion faux pas is to follow the brands and never develop a unique fashion style.

No comments:

Post a Comment