Overhearing a telephone conversation between two trendy women could go something along these lines (not literal phone lines as these have long since been replaced by cell signals): “Of course! Which course? Should we meet for tea before we tee off? I’ll drive and bring my own driver this time”.
Golf has become a popular sport and a great escape for stressed business people, networkers and social players. Dave Barry summarises this trend best when he says that “although golf was originally restricted to wealthy overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing”. The game was an elite sport, but it now played by anybody who wants to network, unwind, show off or tee off.
I’ve decided to write the “dummies guide to golf”, but there has to be an exam before being allowed on a golf course, even before the driving range. Forget handicaps, these are the stages of golf:
1. Theory lesson – just as learner drivers should have completed the theoretical learners licence exam, wannabe golfers should be required to learn the lingo, rules and intracies of the game. Required reading should be a golf newspaper report or a specialist magazine article and the golf dictionary and …….a pro shop tour. Master picking up a golf bag and carrying it for hours, differentiate the golf clubs, buy a collared shirt and learn the lingo. Minding your Ps and Qs involves learning that p does not stand for putter. A driver is not the person who steers the golf cart. Learn ornithology by viewing the birdies and eagles of the golf course before getting on the green.
2. Learner Driver – short of walking around with an “l” on your back (could stand for loser or lost), this stage involves making friends with the golf stick, stance and swing. Starting with the stance and then progressing to the swing and follow-through before even placing the ball on the tee.
3. Driver – hundreds of practical hours at the driving range under the watchful eye of an instructor. It always helps to have a professional coach in order to learn proper technique in order to have the most effective swing with the most comfortable posture. The first accomplishment occurs when regular contact is made with the ball and the golf club does not fly out of your hand or swing over the stationary ball. Thereafter, the aiming and placement of the ball should become easier with practice and professionals say that once in a while, the ball tends to fly off in a random direction that was not planned.
4. Graduate to take the real course – this is when you can “drive” unassisted without coaching supervision on a real golf course. Dragging the bag through nine holes without total exhaustion or embarrassing your opponent will let you know that you are a golfer.
5. Handicap – I was under the impression that a handicap was a bad thing, but not in golf. The lower your handicap, the better the golfer. A pro is a professional, not prostitute so it’s an achievement to turn “pro”. Golf may be the only sport where it’s good have a “round”.
Bob Hope summarised this sport best when he said “if you watch it, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf”. The concentration, dedication and motivation required to play this sport seems easy to an outsider, but it is more difficult than getting a licence, even though the equipment may have similar names and prices. It’s empowering to exchange the household iron for a golf iron to play the game that used to be for males exclusively. All the exclusivity removed, it is still an art to learn to play golf.
Some tips from the beginner:
- Get in Gear – collared shirt and proper attire for this sport where lycra is not allowed.
- Go Clubbing – learn the difference between the drivers, wedges and putters.
- Get Balls – always take some extra because golf balls tend to love water.
- Please Get Associated with the Tour – learn the players’ names, course names and tournaments. They initially all sound the same with a few letters that are different like Andrew,
St Andrews , Andy - Go Clubbing again – join a golf club to cement your dedication. After you’ve passed the driver’s test.
No comments:
Post a Comment