Holiday hideways OverBerg

HOLIDAY HIDEAWAYS ALONG THE OVERBERG

When the hussle of the big city gets too much, there are many places that are less than two hours from Cape Town. Take a drive over the mountain pass, away from traffic and crowds and experience the scenery of a lovely drive and a quiet destination.

Hermanus is popular among tourists and it is not the average quiet seaside village as many businesses and industries resemble city living, but the beaches and small guesthouses offer privacy and ocean views that will drown the noise of the town. There are also lovely places on either side of Hermanus and the best part about getting there is the drive itself.

When leaving Cape Town on the N2highway and climbing up Sir Lowry’s Pass, it is like going into another world of farms, quaint towns and tree-lined roads. Stopping at Grabouw’s farm stall is always a good experience and it is the first indicator that a holiday or road trip is about to begin. The smell of the fresh bread and the crisp fresh fruit is enough to relax the most stressful person. There are lovely walks and mountain bike trails in this area and the farms of Elgin are an adventure to explore. There are apple factories to visit and farm stalls en route to please a hungry traveler. Camping along the Overberg coast is very popular and the towns of Kleinmond, Hangklip, Hermanus and Betty’s Bay are always busy over the festive season when families celebrate Christmas at the sea. Waking up to the roar of the ocean and ending each day with a beer and braai is the best way to end a busy year for South Africans. In Kleinmond, the Kogelberg Biosphere Reserve has more than 1600 species of fynbos and a large indigenous forest to explore. The drive from Cape Town along the R44 is known as the Whale Route and it is a scenic drive that winds along the coast. Whale watching and fishing is very popular.

Onrus has a popular caravan park and many people have invested in holiday property near the ocean. There are houses to rent for week or two to get away from the world or bed and breakfast establishments will spoil the visitors. Aside from the coffee shops with homemade cakes and delicacies, there are small museums and other tourist attractions. Each town has something different to offer and exploration is enjoyable when driving through.

If camping and self catering is too primitive, then a few nights at the Arabella Golf Course will pamper the weary traveler. Bordering the largest natural lagoon in South Africa, the views are amazing and the luxury is unrivalled. There is a great restaurant, trendy bar and beauty salon to suit every need.

On the way past Hermanus, there are many little shops and places of interest and there is more to see on the other side of this town that is known for the Whale Festival. Driving along the Overberg is eventful and there is much to amuse the entire family.

Cancer concerns

The reaction to a cancer diagnosis is never the same and the victim is not always that person who has been inflicted with these evil cells. Friends and family are secondary sufferers and often the pain stems from the helplessness of not knowing what to say and do when your best friend or cousin has been diagnosed with a disease that randomly targets the healthy, obese, rich and successful.

My theory that bad things happen to good people gets proven over and over when I see active people being diagnosed and strong families reduced to insecure, unstable strangers when they cannot understand the curse of cancer. Trying to understand the source can cause more confusion with conflicting literature and some theories that suggest that cancer has emotional origins and is self inflicted. I believe that everybody who comes into contact with a disease should study the causes and treatments, but they should not judge or jump to conclusions about a disease that is changing so rapidly with scary statistics. If we were to follow the literature we would never drive in a car (carbon monoxide poisoning), take contraceptive pills (oestrogen increases could cause cancer), eat fast food (fatty acids and plastic wrapping increases cancer risk), eat fruit (pesticides that are sprayed on fruit has high levels of DDT) or stress. The irony is that when you are told not to stress about something, it becomes a worry. When I am told to “chill out”, I actually want to hit the person who utters those words. Radiation causes cancer, but radiation is a treatment to kill cancer. People have stopped smoking to avoid lung cancer, but non-smokers are becoming victims.

So, after confusing myself with all the information about cancer, I extract the facts, dismiss the tragic stories and follow the dietary and exercise advice. I also feel better knowing the stages or radiation and chemo and preparing myself for possible side effects that my friend may have after the operation.

It is difficult being supportive when somebody is not sick, but they are walking around with cells that are poisoning their bodies from the inside. You can’t tell them to “get well soon” as they are not in bed with flu symptoms. Often, the treatment will make them sicker than the disease and the more advanced the cancer, the worse the side effects. I stumbled on the fact that side effects from prescription drugs are among the top five reasons for death in the First World and cancer is less prevalent in the developing world so the poor are protected. The other side effect that is crippling is that cancer can cause people to become poor and the treatment is expensive and medical aids do not cover all expenses. My friend was trying to sort out the paperwork (which was enough to kill a forest) and I commented that the worst thing about having cancer was the administration. There are a panel of doctors and specialists involved in an operation and the gynaechologist, anaesthitist, surgeon and specialists must get consulted and paid.

As with all tragedies, there are good things that result from cancer. I have become more educated about the disease and people’s reaction to bad news and their unending support. Marriages are cemented, friendships are strengthened and self discovery is part of the process. I just hope that the medical advances continue to make detection and cancer management easier. There should be support groups for the supporters.

Cold

Forgotten New Year’s resolutions, winter hibernation and health niggles.

It’s time to sit back on the couch with your blanket and fat free hot chocolate and reflect on the past six months. The goals that were set with the countdown into 2007 have been forgotten as soon as the hangover wore off or when the winter weather replaced the long summer days.

Colds have replaced sinus from the pollen and increased the Kleenex usage. Just as there is no miracle cure for laziness, allergies and flu symptoms do not magically disappear. Getting out of bed is our first challenge for the day and the resolutions that seemed achievable are a sore subject.

Cold can be an adjective (it will be a cold day in hell before we get out of bed to go to gym), verb (we are getting cold) or illness.

The winter cold relief - most over-the-counter cold preparations contain aspirin or paracetamol, and a decongestant which reduces nasal stuffiness and dries up secretions. However, a risk of the rebound phenomenon is associated with the use of decongestants: after the action of the agent is over, the secretions recur worse than before. Pseudoephedrine should not be taken if you have heart disease, high blood pressure, prostrate problems, diabetes or thyroid problems.

Avoiding the cold - drink herbal tea, eat garlic and consume probiotic foods to help boost immunity.  The antibacterial properties fight infections and flu.

Warming up from the cold - there is nothing better than a vigorous exercise session to warm up the body for hours instead of snuggling in bed, trying to stop your toes freezing.

Controlling the cold – keep moving throughout the day. The cold tends to target idle bodies that are static. Prevent the icicles growing on your body by getting up and walking around at regular intervals to keep the heart rate slightly elevated.

Overcoming the cold – remember that summer will be here in four months and the layers will have to be shed to prepare for the holiday season. Hopefully, clothes will be the only thing that will need to be removed when the weather heats up and not excess kilos from the extra calories and exercise strike during the winter hibernation.

Kill the Diet

KILL THE DIET

When the burger joint knows your name and order by the sound of your voice as soon as you call them, it is time to make a few adjustments to your eating plan.

The only time I “dye-it” is when my hair changes colour. Any educated person knows that a diet is a short-term fad that leads to a long-term effect that is physically, mentally and socially detrimental.

Eating plans become part of a balanced lifestyle while eating disorders leave physical and psychological imbalances in most cases.

I live alone, do not cook and I enjoy junk food. While my exercise routine is regular and stable, eating patterns are governed by time, cravings and budget.

I want to lose the extra fat that no amount of exercise can remove from my active body. I’m training for half marathons, cycling and a toned body and the only kilos I can afford to add should be to my mileage, not my midline.

My main problem involves balance. I’m out of balance when I run, placing more emphasis on one side of my body to do all the work. When it comes to eating, my impression of a balanced diet involves having some form of food in each hand. Coffee and muffin, beer and snack, chocolate and bubbly. I also make the mistake of trying to alter the balance by putting a book or magazine in one hand and when I’ve finished the chapter, a packet of chips has also disappeared! The other hand is to blame.

My conclusion is that most eating “sins” can be controlled by the mind and I’ve formulated these tips to reduce consumption:

Ø  Buy deep, narrow cookie jars and buy small packets of cookies – this will ensure that you cannot reach your favourite biscuits once you’ve eaten the top layer.

Ø  Never eat alone – always make eating a social occasion. This has a dual purpose: avoidance of messy fast foods such as pizza and burgers and eating more slowly (like the experts recommend) while chatting as it’s rude to talk with your mouth full.

Ø  Take a doggie bag when dining out – this can lead to less hassle to make lunch for work the next day or the car guard at the restaurant can get an edible tip.

Ø  Finish chewing before taking the next bite. Think of exercising those jaw muscles optimally by chewing as slowly as possible. If only spot fat reduction were possible I would be gaunt from chewing carefully and talking a lot.

Ø  Rather have desert with lunch than with supper to give it more time to settle. Have a low calorie drink, like a skinny capucino for desert instead of cake.

Ø  Include protein in all meals to improve satiety and feel fuller.

Ø  Cheat foods should not be lying around the house calling your name whenever you are too lazy to cook.

Ø  Take the fast food outlets and delivery services off your speed dial and remove the menus from your fridge.

Ø  Drink water with meals and avoid carbonated drinks and alcohol.

Ø  Be conscious of everything that you put in your mouth. Remember when you cheat and whether it was worth the empty calories that must now be exercised away.

Changing your lifestyle should not be drastic or compulsive, but being aware of food choices and snacking improves eating habits and leads to a better balance with both hands raised in victory after achieving your goal.

Gambling with your health

The exercise and leisure industry fall into the same category as gambling services and holiday resorts. Buying a gym membership or sporting equipment involves putting your money into an industry where the returns are random and inconsistent.

Everybody who has invested their money in a holiday or at a casino has received something in return from the experience, even if it is a fungal infection from the communal pool, lost luggage or an overdraft. The returns are not always predictable, but there is always something gained from the experience of a vacation or visiting the gym.

Most people who purchase gym contracts, rarely use the facility. Large sums of money are invested in other people’s sweat. Similar to gambling, money is invested to another person’s advantage. The coins that are dropped in a slot machine can either fill the machine or result in a payout in a casino, but results are more predictable when it comes to exercise. Regular exercise leads to less stress with fewer health concerns and weight problems. The results are guaranteed if the rules are obeyed.

Putting food in your mouth forms part of daily survival. The returns look the same when exiting the body whether we deposited a balanced meal or chocolate. The shape and bulges of our human machine is mostly determined by the deposits. Too many deposits of fast food leads to returns of cancer, obesity, diabetes and self-image problems. Gambling with our health is a sobering thought when the lifestyle diseases start showing their symptoms of high blood pressure, stress and cholesterol.

It is time to move the focus (and budget) away from the luxuries of restaurants, resorts and pubs. Barbells should be more important than chocolate bars and sports bars where alcohol and pub grub are served. Cardiovascular exercise involves more endurance than walking to a counter instead of going via the drive-through area. Aerobic exercise burns kilojoules and resistance training speeds up metabolism. This increases the rate at which the coins pass through the conditioned machine by increasing the internal efficiency.

Gambling with your heart could lead to early death, high medical bills and limiting lifestyle if you decide to remain sedentary. There is nothing relaxing about incorrect investment in the leisure industry.

Break Up Bull

Forget irresolvable issues, conflicting beliefs, clashing personalities and irreconcilable differences, the real reason for breakups are the small things that often go unnoticed. The big terms and words with multiple syllables are merely legal terms and politically correct words that are a vague explanation without sharing the detail that surrounds a split. Saying that you broke up because of “irreconcilable differences” is basically a nice way of telling the enquirer that it really is none of their business or that the longer explanation version for the break up will take too long to divulge. When hearing one of the above mentioned terms from others, we nod and do not probe for further detail for fear that the person will break down emotionally or reduce us to tears with a drawn out version of every detailed account of conflict and unhappiness of their long relationship.

We’ve all experienced the irritation of potential suitors such as the excess body hair, inappropriate noises, expressions and mannerisms that we cannot ignore no matter how hard we try. Call it shallowness or immaturity, but the irritation does not go away. The guttural or nasal noises get louder, the unibrow becomes a focal point on his face and the sayings are dated and embarrassing. These issues are exaggerated and become almost as irritating as an evil mother-in-law.

My exboyfriend was prohibited from breaking wind in my presence and the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that this was the deciding factor in our break up. The pent up emotions that had no outlet and the escalating pressure to be a decent, well mannered lad was too stressful for him in the end. The fact that he is full of shit has ultimately led to us sleeping in separate beds. Either he was frustrated with my manners and decent upbringing, or I become a real pain in the ass.

Men love speaking about toilet habits, sex, dirty jokes and anything that is below the belt. Demonstrations and gestures add entertainment value to these topics. If a charity were to organise a farting competition as a fund raiser (or skunk raiser) they would make a killing and have stinking rich beneficiaries. Chilli and bean sales would skyrocket and carbo-loading would take a new meaning. The male support would be massive and more popular than any charity auction or pet show.

My friend omits silent farts that make her husband blush. She says he is embarrassed on her behalf, but I think it’s just blood redistribution away from his nose. She either blames him for the fart of wafts the duvet in his direction. When she is feeling cruel, she buries his head under the blanket. If you can’t beat them, join them. She actually has a happy marriage so there is a lot to be said for airing your views.

We should resort to these toilet tendencies in a last desperate attempt to understand the fascination with bowel movements and private parts. Invite other couples over for a braai, burping competition and boep comparison. Embrace their flatulence habits, but don’t squeeze their stomachs too hard and do not serve spinach or any dried fruit.

Examine your last break up and weigh up the small issues such as the fact that he hated your pink shoes, your loud laugh or domestic habits. Ignore the infidelity, arguments and feuds and focus on the little things in order to realise that nobody is perfect, but some people’s imperfections are too much to live with. My next boyfriend will not fart in my presence, but I might compromise and allow him to blame the inexplicable smell on the dog.

Girl Golfers

Overhearing a telephone conversation between two trendy women could go something along these lines (not literal phone lines as these have long since been replaced by cell signals): “Of course! Which course? Should we meet for tea before we tee off? I’ll drive and bring my own driver this time”.

Golf has become a popular sport and a great escape for stressed business people, networkers and social players. Dave Barry summarises this trend best when he says that “although golf was originally restricted to wealthy overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing”. The game was an elite sport, but it now played by anybody who wants to network, unwind, show off or tee off.

I’ve decided to write the “dummies guide to golf”, but there has to be an exam before being allowed on a golf course, even before the driving range. Forget handicaps, these are the stages of golf:

1. Theory lesson – just as learner drivers should have completed the theoretical learners licence exam, wannabe golfers should be required to learn the lingo, rules and intracies of the game. Required reading should be a golf newspaper report or a specialist magazine article and the golf dictionary and …….a pro shop tour. Master picking up a golf bag and carrying it for hours, differentiate the golf clubs, buy a collared shirt and learn the lingo. Minding your Ps and Qs involves learning that p does not stand for putter. A driver is not the person who steers the golf cart. Learn ornithology by viewing the birdies and eagles of the golf course before getting on the green.

2. Learner Driver – short of walking around with an “l” on your back (could stand for loser or lost), this stage involves making friends with the golf stick, stance and swing. Starting with the stance and then progressing to the swing and follow-through before even placing the ball on the tee.

3. Driver – hundreds of practical hours at the driving range under the watchful eye of an instructor. It always helps to have a professional coach in order to learn proper technique in order to have the most effective swing with the most comfortable posture. The first accomplishment occurs when regular contact is made with the ball and the golf club does not fly out of your hand or swing over the stationary ball. Thereafter, the aiming and placement of the ball should become easier with practice and professionals say that once in a while, the ball tends to fly off in a random direction that was not planned.

4. Graduate to take the real course – this is when you can “drive” unassisted without coaching supervision on a real golf course. Dragging the bag through nine holes without total exhaustion or embarrassing your opponent will let you know that you are a golfer.

5. Handicap – I was under the impression that a handicap was a bad thing, but not in golf. The lower your handicap, the better the golfer. A pro is a professional, not prostitute so it’s an achievement to turn “pro”. Golf may be the only sport where it’s good have a “round”.

Bob Hope summarised this sport best when he said “if you watch it, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf”.  The concentration, dedication and motivation required to play this sport seems easy to an outsider, but it is more difficult than getting a licence, even though the equipment may have similar names and prices. It’s empowering to exchange the household iron for a golf iron to play the game that used to be for males exclusively. All the exclusivity removed, it is still an art to learn to play golf.

Some tips from the beginner:

• Get in Gear – collared shirt and proper attire for this sport where lycra is not allowed.
• Go Clubbing – learn the difference between the drivers, wedges and putters.
• Get Balls – always take some extra because golf balls tend to love water.
• Please Get Associated with the Tour – learn the players’ names, course names and tournaments. They initially all sound the same with a few letters that are different like Andrew, St Andrews, Andy
• Go Clubbing again – join a golf club to cement your dedication. After you’ve passed the driver’s test.